So...

A lot of things have changed in the last two months, and I haven't updated about any of them. I figure that, if you still read this in any way, you may as well have an update about my life and how it's been going since graduation.

Speaking of which, I graduated. It was fantastic. My capstone group won one of the outstanding capstone awards for the year, and while I didn't go to the actual graduation ceremony, my parents came down for my Informatics dinner and then we partied afterward with Byer and Cropper and my brother. The next day, we hung out on a pontoon boat instead of going to graduation, and it turned out to be a fantastic decision.

I hung out in Bloomington for awhile longer, and then went home to visit some people and look for apartments. I saw quite a few people and then found an amazing apartment that I fell completely in love with.

After the events of the last few weeks, it appears that I will no longer be needing that apartment. Suffice it to say, after a rather rocky year and a half, Tom and I broke up--for good, this time. I decided that it was time to start making decisions for their effects on me instead of their effects on other people. I'd been unhappy for some time, but I hadn't known why--and now I do. Things have been better since we ended them. Tom is going to live with Jimi next year, which is good for him. I think he'll have a fantastic time.

As for me, I'm moving home and living with my parents until I can either scrounge up enough rent money to live in an apartment by myself or until I can convince Ali that it's a good idea to live with me. But until then, I'm just having a fantastic time at camp, doing my best to make the last half of the summer amazing (so far it's working out spectacularly). I've almost died on a horse several times, heisted the ski boats, and spent a great majority of my time with some incredible people. And then, come August... well, it'll be straight into my job and traveling and ridiculousness. But for right now... it's just camp. And maybe more on that later, but now is not the time to get into it. All I know is that it's been so much more than I expected.

Dear Insight Communications,

Not only does your network suck (as well as your customer service), but so do your commercials.

Hire a professional, and stop asking the office janitor to shoot your footage.


Love,

Me

This is a (potentially lame) meme. tgoth4986 provided the questions. Instructions are below.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better ! If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate!
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

( Read my interview. )

Okay, so...

Pictures of cats are available on <a href="http://www.scatteredthoughts.org>Tom's blog</a>. They ripped apart Tom's tree today. He was *not* pleased. We also went to Oliver and purchased twelve (yes, I said twelve) bottles of wine. Oops.

No catfaces today. The shelter was closed early on account of the weather.

Good thing I took off work tomorrow so we can go get them when they open at noon instead! :)

I didn't want to post until I was sure that we got him, but here is our (other) new kitty!

His current name is Garfield, but I don't want to keep it--figuring it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, and then he'll be really fat and eat a lot of lasagna. And be mean to me and any dogs we might ever get.

Anyway... yay! :)

Okay so...

We are going to adopt a cat!

She's a 6-month-old grey/brown tabby with white feet (and I think a white belly, but I can't remember). And her name is Corey (right now, anyway). Tom's hosting a cat-naming poll on his blog <a href="http://www.scatteredthoughts.org></a>. We went and bought kitty supplies today, and got everything we need (minus food, cause we don't know what she eats yet). And then we thought about it. And I'm pretty sure we're going to adopt two now. The other one is a little 9-month-old orange tabby named Garfield--who is the sweetest, mellowest, cuddliest cat of all time. So I suppose, what do we name HIM? Yeah, I really don't know. BUT ZOMG CATS!! I am so excited!!

Go Bears.

May I say... mad props to the city of Bloomington for their incredible snow-removal techniques.

Why, just this morning, I was going in to work and was slipping and sliding all over a snowy road. I passed one street that had yet to be plowed. No doubt it had been snowing here for at least four hours.

But hey... putting sand on the snow makes it go away in this town.



In other news, Senator Hillary Clinton launches her White House bid. Super! May I (probably not) be the first to say--if she is the democratic candidate for the presidency, I will vote third party. Or even Republican. But not for Hillary Clinton.

Go Obama.

I haven't posted in forever, and for that, I apologize... I just haven't been able to think of anything to say!

So, we'll start with the most important thing--I'm pretty sure I have a job!

Until I sign all the relevant papers and such, I won't go into the details, but... well, I had my pick of a couple, and this one is just the best. It means working with people I like in an industry that I like, and also getting to travel quite a bit (which is exciting). Sure, eventually I'll probably want to settle down... but for the time being, I think I'm content doing that. :)


Other than the job thing... well, I have classes. Here's how those have rounded out:

TEL T354 (TV Graphics)
My professor is a nice guy, and we've been working mainly with Photoshop so far (one of my strong suits); thus, I've been having a pretty easy time and enjoying the course. I get to learn After Effects, though, which is a software that I've kind of always wanted to test drive, so that is really exciting, not gonna lie.

TEL T364 (3D Modeling)
My professor is a little nuts... basically, the moral of this class is that you sort of teach yourself how to do everything. I have to say, I don't usually classify myself as an artistic person, but I'll make an exception in this case--I seem to work really well with 3D. I just can't visualize 2D things. Anyway, I like it, but it's totally eating my life; I'm way too much of a perfectionist for this crap.

INFO I451 (Capstone)
Talk about getting boned. I am so tired of this capstone crap. Our client just finally gave us the information we need--after 3 MONTHS of meeting with them! I want this done by mid to late March. They're committed to making it happen. We just need an exit strategy... and honestly, this class is really not my biggest concern this semester. At all.

SOC S321 (Sexual Diversity)
If you ever need an extra elective and thing that sociology might be for you... well, this class is hilarious. Granted, it's a lot of info (I've seen a few more penises and way more vaginas than I think I needed to see), but... well, the professor is funny, the subject matter is interesting, and it really only meets once a week. There's a bit of reading, but it's not bad reading.

INFO I499 (Independent Study)
My independent study in a nutshell--read my professor's book, shoot holes in it, look up his references and tell him that he's misrepresented them, and then go to his house and argue with him for two hours a week. It's actually a lot of fun--I never thought that I would enjoy something like that (truthfully, I was so nervous about it yesterday that I didn't know what to do with myself). However, it's turning out to be a hell of a learning experience.


Those are the classes. Work is work; I don't think about it much these days since I only work 3 days a week (which is a total blessing, by the way). I've been keeping up with the exercising and marking it in my sexy Grey's Anatomy calendar (ha!) just so I can look week to week and see what I've been doing.

That's life, I guess.

My poor, poor watch.

Its time has finally come. And you might wonder why I am so sad, but people who have known me for a long time know one thing--I lose watches. Constantly. It's like as soon as it hits my wrist, it miraculously disappears. I have never been able to hold onto one for more than three months. Until now.

It's kind of a pleasant thing, really. They escape, and run off into the wild. They go to the great beyond with all sorts of other things, like the lid to the battery compartment on the remote and the seven left socks that never came out of the dryer. They live happier lives there, I imagine. No having your face scratched, no accidentally jumping into the stinky lake, no getting put through the wash. Instead, they run away, and go to never-never land. Their presence, being so fleeting, is never really missed. Except for that one marathon watch with the bright blue band. I remember that one, and I miss it a little.

Anyway.

This watch, my poor, darling watch... the first pink watch I've ever owned. I have this problem with pink, or I did. And this broke it. I bought it in Portland when we were there for Nicole's wedding, at the Columbia store. Its numbers were smallish, and the band was sort of thin, but I liked it. It called to me. It said, "You won't lose me." It didn't lie, unlike so many other heartless bastards of watches, who just run off with the skinny girl from down the street or that whore who unbuttons the top three buttons of her shirt to make a sale. It, in all its pink and grey glory, was to be my watch. My darling watch.

We had a lot of great times together. It flew back from Portland to Indianapolis together. We spent an entire summer together beneath the trees at dear Camp Ransburg, and even made a few forays into the lake during swimming or sailing class. It went through senior band camp with me, and an entire season of football games. It made it through fall semester, and then into spring semester. It went with me to Salt Lake City, and to Findlay, Ohio. It was with me in the hospital, and it went with me back to camp. That watch went with me to Metamora, MI, and it was there when I got my Aquatics Certification. It helped me through an entire summer as the Assistant Aquatics Director (even when I had some very difficult decisions to make). It even stuck by me when I quit marching band and Psi, which was really a lot to ask. Hell, it was even there this semester, when I had a huge number of credit hours and a lot of work and group meetings. It stuck by and spent time with me when I couldn't do anything but work and ignore it--but it was also there for me when I had the good times, drinking a bottle of wine to celebrate the end of project season.

It faded slowly at first. The velcro started to come unstuck from the band, and the watch even fell off a few times when I pulled off a sweatshirt or a coat. It was okay; I always stuck it back together, even with the white on its band grimy from the dust of two whole summers with the boy scouts. Then, it stopped glowing right, the numbers disappearing from its face when I'd go to read it in the dark. But that was okay, too.

One day, it jumped forward an hour. I ignored the warning signs, and just set it back. A few weeks later, it jumped forward again--this time, by 45 minutes. I went to set it back, but realized that it was spurting out gibberish. The days of the week were no longer minutes, and the date was set to 0-01. I didn't have it in my heart to bring it back to reality. I had waited too long. It was the beginning of the end.

It was over the next day--a year and a half of service. It switched to timer mode and wouldn't come out. It read 0:00:00, and wouldn't change, regardless of all the buttons we pushed. We kept pushing and pushing, and still, nothing but zeros. A push of the fatal light, and it was over. Its face was wiped clean--no more time, no more buttons, no more nothing. Briefly, it revived, and showed us half of a time... but it was not to be. It was gone. My poor, poor watch was gone.

Here's to you, watch. You stuck by me through thick and thin, through some of the toughest times in my life. And now I sit, watching your poor, serene face, knowing that you've gone to a better place--not to be with those irresponsible electronics gallivanting in lost-sock-world, but instead, to that place where loved toys go. And, even if I DO get another watch for Christmas, I'll never forget you. You will always be my favorite watch.

Until I get a better one.

Okay, truly... I've been putting off updating this thing forever, not necessarily because I don't want to write in it, but because I really haven't been able to put together everything I suppose that I want to say.

Finals are over. This hell semester is over. Of the grades that I've seen, none are worse and one is better than I expected. Granted, they're not great, but given that it was a 19 credit hour semester with both a graduate design class (which I STILL have not seen the grade for, by the way) and a programming class, I'm satisfied enough. Next semester will be easier--15 credit hours, 3 of which are Capstone, 6 of which are telecom, 3 more of informatics elective, and 3 of sociology; overall, a good way to end up the undergraduate career.

My goals of being skinnier are on hold momentarily, only because I seem to have contracted a bit of a respiratory infection. I couldn't take the run today that I was planning on, but I'll live. In other news, I saw pictures tagged of me from this summer, and I have giant tree trunk legs. It was right after summer, so it may have something to do with running up and down the ridges. Nonetheless... well, I'm dissatisfied, but I'm never satisfied, so I can't particularly use that as a judgment.

I interviewed with Jeff and Sox at camp on Saturday. Yes, I did it. I really want to go back--that's all there is to it. I interviewed for Aquatics Director. My only competition (so far as I know) is Nathan Butler. I'm a little tweaked about it, honestly; I know that I have Steve's backing and also the backing of the aquatics staff (at least, I think so!)... but you never know when it comes to making those camp decisions. We'll see. If I end up in that position, I have a lot to prepare (and that's what May is for). Who else applied/interviewed? And what for?

I can't help but feel this feeling of dissatisfaction about a lot of things, and I think it really has more to do with not knowing where I'm going to be next year than anything else. I have my short term goals (classes, capstone project, work, creating trainings, working out regularly), but I can't plan anything for the long term because I have no idea where I'm going to be. What I do know is that I don't want to end up like half of the other people I graduated with (and that everyone else graduated with)--working food service or retail with a bachelors degree. I honestly can't really afford to end up that way. So... here's hoping I figure something out...

That's all I can think of to say so far...

In Kansas City now. It's like a blessed respite from the total insanity that has been the past week. And, free wireless, so I can even get my programming done tonight (if I can). So I think I'll do that.

Got some lame travel arrangements. I rode to Indianapolis with Ashley, and that was fine... but our Indy to Chicago flight was delayed by an hour. So we got rerouted to Dallas and then back to Kansas City. We arrived an hour later, and our luggage still isn't here. So much for reapplying my makeup or changing my shirt/socks. :P

Life is winding down. I can see the end of the semester, and I know I'm going to do okay. I'm not freaked out or exasperated anymore; I'm just counting down the days. Here's what I have left:

-Experience Cerner Day (I'm there, now I just have to "experience) 12/5-12/6
-I211 Final Project Due 12/7
-A105 NewsQuiz Due 12/7
-Auditor 8-midnight 12/7
-Staff Meeting 8am 12/8
-Auditor 8-midnight 12/9
-North 4-10 12/10
-North noon-4 12/11
-A105 Final 12/12
-I211 Final 12/12
-T/T 8-noon 12/13
-A100 Final 12/13
-R170 Final 12/14
-Auditor 4-8 12/14
-T/T 12-6 12/15

And then staff weekend. And then I go home. Which is good, because I miss my mom.

I need to figure out what I'm going to get Tom and the girls from home (i.e. Ali, Molly) for Christmas. I have no clue on either count. For Tom, I'll probably just wander around until I find something (the usual)... for the girls... well, that's going to be considerably tougher.

Carrie is coming down on Saturday to see 40% Steve... so I'm going to actually have to do something after my auditor shift (oh noes). Let's hope I don't forget and that I can force myself to go out. :)

My life is so boring. Please forgive me.

All right, so, today, I've been super-nice. My life is pretty decent. Let me tell you why.

Today's good turn (maybe I should start documenting these):

I had a graduate HCI/d student in the IC today during my auditor shift. It was dead--she asked me for English help so that she could finish her presentation slideshow (due in 20 minutes from the time she asked). As a fellow HCI'er, I felt for her. I helped her out with some phrasing, and she got it done just in time for the deadline. That's my good turn for the day. That, and letting some jerkass old man pull in front of me on I-65. Could've been worse.

Diet/weight loss progression--in only TWO WEEKS, I now officially fit back into the skinny jeans!! For those unaware, I'd gained some weight due to blood sugar troubles--every time it drops, I have to eat or drink something sugary, and it was really starting to take its toll. So, I started paying more attention to it (I've put my health ahead of EVERYTHING else at this point), and have managed to regulate that and skinny back up, just in time for the holidays! But, I'm keeping it up--nothing like having the skinny jeans be loose, eh? That's the plan, anyhow.


I was supposed to have an interview on Thursday, but I got stuck in a three and a half hour traffic jam on I-65 due to a chemical leak. At a truck stop. Motherfucker! Fortunately, the Revere Group ladies are being SUPER nice and letting me make it up (probably over the Christmas holiday). I love nice people. :) Makes me want to be one when I grow up. ;)

I told my mom about my capstone project (the Cook endovascular project--basically, an e-learning system for sales representatives based on their aortic stent grafts... and if you want to know more, I could probably talk your ear off about it). Apparently all the women at her cardio clinic are so excited about it that they've offered to make time during their lunch hours to talk to me when I'm home for Christmas break! I will probably be taking them up on that (including the cardiovascular specialist that oversees their clinic). How awesome! That plus, I'll probably have something to talk to my surgeon uncle about over the holiday. How rare!


The Bears are awesome. End of story. Anyone hating on the Bears will be punched in the kidneys.

Tom is coming home with me for Thanksgiving. Which means... that all of my friends will get to meet him that haven't. Scary bears.

Anyway, I'm about off my shift. More X-Files when I get home. David Duchovny is so sexy.

Bahahaha... okay, oops, I forgot that I had this thing (somehow) and haven't updated in forever. Sorry, I suck mucho.

Let's update you on life first:


1. I have seven million projects due.

Okay, more like three really big ones. But they're all due at the same time.

One is a group project for a graduate class, and I'm the facilitator, making it all the more stressful. I think that, durning the next few weeks, there will be nary a time that we don't meet, just because we have to be able to refine an idea, prototype, usability test, redesign, re-prototype, usability test, redesign, do our paper, and set a presentation. And this is due in 18 days. Yeesh!

One is an astronomy project. I don't think I need to be worried about this.

The last one is my programming project. I am SUPER worried about this, just because my programming skills aren't exceptional (they're good, but I have to try, and I don't have much time to try... see aforementioned graduate design project)... and also because my professor hasn't taught many undergraduate classes, so he has VERY high expectations for all of us. I'm trying my damndest to get done what needs done, but I'm just not sure that I have the time to complete it properly.


2. I have a lot (I mean LOT) of interviews coming up.

Add to my pretty crazy schedule the number of interviews I have coming up--all of which involve some kind of travel arrangement (either driving or flying). Either way, it's putting a serious cramp in my schedule. Breakdown is as follows:

11/16 - Interview with the Revere Group. I'm leaving either Thursday morning or Wednesday night (more likely Thursday morning) and driving up to Chicago, staying the night with my delightful parents, and then driving back sometime Friday.

12/1 & 12/2 - Interviews with Target Corp. Flight to Minneapolis the night of 11/30 accompanied with requisite hotel stay, and then interviews all day (starting at 8:45am, fortunately Central Time). I'll either fly home the night of 12/1 or the afternoon of 12/2, depending on if I decide to take the Minneapolis-St. Paul city tour.

12/5 & 12/6 - "Experience Cerner Day" with Cerner. Flying out to Kansas City, going to a dinner, touring the plant... sounds more relaxing than Target, really, but still, all the way out in Kansas City, MO. And during an exam. Which I have rescheduled. I think.

12/28 - Interview with Stratigent. I'll already be home, and this is about 30 minutes from my parents' house. Thank God for little favors.

Put Apex in there somewhere, and I have a pretty full schedule, wouldn't you say? The main bright side here? I will probably have a job come next semester... one less thing to worry about.


3. Capstone is picking up.

In trying to get our group project together, we've had a new member added... which is fine, but she works full time, so it's hard for us to schedule her in. That plus Cook seems to like to do things on a last-minute basis, which is... well, exactly the thing she can't do. It's getting rather stressful to be expected to rearrange my schedule at a moments' notice--and that really goes for interviews, projects, and this project, unfortunately. And, in the semester where I have 19 credit hours. Jesus.


4. I'm making a concerted effort to become more healthy.

I got lazy. I admit it. Ever since my parents came into town, I've been on a downward slide. To combat it, I've been trying to get to the gym as often as possible (which is difficult--see aforementioned schedule). I've been running between a mile and a half and two miles or swimming 500 yards (both of which are good), plus stretching and flexibility exercises. I've only gone four times this week, which... well, it could be worse, I guess. Could be better, but with my muscles still getting used to the exercise, maybe it's okay. I feel less stressed out, that's for damn sure. And that's good. Definitely.

I've also been trying to eat more healthily, and have been keeping track of everything I eat daily, combined with my blood sugars and insulin dosing. A recent spat of low blood sugars convinced me that, despite my stress level and the amount of work I have to do, I really need to be keeping better control. If I don't, I'll get into a pattern, and become like my father. We all know how bad that is.


5. I have no friends.

Okay, slight exaggeration. But I haven't seen anyone in a long time, and the truth is, I've been buried under a mound of schoolwork. That and I don't really talk to a whole lot of people in Bloomington anymore. But that comes with 19 credit hours and 20 hours of work a week, I think. Perhaps next semester will be better.




The semester's winding down, and I'm trying to pull decent grades out of my ass so that I can relax a little bit next semester. I'm trying to get a job so that I can relax next semester. I'm looking forward to Christmas and Thanksgiving breaks, because I miss my friends, and with my work schedule being what it is, it is completely IMPOSSIBLE for me to go home. I cannot keep up this crap of having to work weekends--I just need to go home occasionally. Ali came down last weekend and it was a breath of fresh air. I miss her, and I miss Molly (although she's in Europe), and I miss Mike (even though he's in California)... and I miss Tony and JonnyB and Heitzman (all in the Chicagoland area, sweet). I just hope I'll have time to see them in my much-shortened Thanksgiving Break. Christmas break it is. Christmas break.


Anyway... that's my life right now. Work-centric? Yes. School-centric? You betcha. Stressful? Absolutely.

Going to be worth it?

God I hope so.

It's here, and it's new, and it's mine.

Maybe this will motivate me a little better.

Let's hope so.


Which, I suppose, means that I can start.


I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Post case-studies-on-burn-victims in my ethics class, I've been thinking in particular about a living will.

Being as it is that I was given seven thousand pages of literature about it when I was in the hospital, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that this controversy about the "right to die" and paternalism just isn't going away... this is a smart idea.

Okay, so I'm only 22, and I'm sitting here thinking about writing how I want to die, how I want to be allowed to die, and in what situations a DNR should be signed? Yes, I am. I guess it's part of that "imminent responsibility" thing that comes along with having this... disease.

I didn't really want to call it that, but that's what it is. I avoid the term, mostly, because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, and, moreover, I really don't want the negative connotation to bring me down, since I feel better than I have in... well, years, probably. But it is, and I have to put it that way. Back to my point, however...

There is this very real possibility that I may have to deal with this--and sooner rather than later. With the way Tom drives, there's no guarantee we won't be in a horrific car accident (/sarcasm, by the way)... but in all reality, there is just no sure thing in my life, or, I guess, in anybody's. So I'm going to be smart about it.

What does that mean for me? I guess what it means is that I've made the conscious decision in my young, uncomplicated (hah!), uber-experienced 22 year old life that I don't want to have medical technology strap me to a machine and call me whole, or piece together my face out of parts of my ass and call it new again. I'm sure I'll change my mind at some point, and probably I'll decide that life is worth living despite disfigurement and wandering around in a half-electronic state of being, but right now, I'm 22, I'm selfish, and I don't want to have to deal with that if it happens to me.


There's my soliloquy about how I'm being responsible. For today.